An old, battered journal. The ink has bled through many pages.
I love you, I will always love you. I write this now not in happiness, but knowing that I will never have your love in return. You chose your familiy over me, and while they may grow old and die, I know they will always be a part of you. I wish that it could be me instead.
I am writing this letter to you. It will be my letter, my gift, the thoughts and emotions of am man wholly devoted to you, once. I don't know what I am now. But if I live to be as old as this desk, this chair, these halls, I will every day write to you. I will every day commit my thoughts to this page. Until my well runs dry, until my pen crumbles to dust, until either you are finally in my arms again, or I have died alone. I promise, I will write to you. I promise. I promise.I promise.I promise.
If I could talk to you now, or maybe if I could bear to approach you, I would ask you why. Not angrily. I'm not hateful. I simply want to know why. Why did you do it? Why did you leave me alone? Why? When did I harm you? I would expect the truth. Did you really think it was for the best? Do you not remember the time we spent together, and the happiness we shared? Were those not real to you? They seem as a dream to me, but I know you felt the same as I. I know you were scared. I was too, but not because I didn't think it was right. It was right. It was our grearest chance at happiness in the world. The war, disease, poverty, slavery, torture would be bearable if I had you. I could endure all of that, if I had your love. Was it not the same for you? If it wasn't, did you lie to me? Was it all a lie?
LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME. I HAVE DONE THIS TO MYSELF. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. I DON'T CARE. THIS IS THEIR FAULT AND THEY WILL PAY. YOUR FAMILIY YES YOUR FAMILY THOSE PEOPLE THAT YOU PRETEND TO LOVE AND WHY? BECAUSE THEY GAVE BIRTH TO YOU? I WILL KILL THEM.
I will, in my sorrowful robes, bring Death.
This book explains how Einar Abergast turned from a lover into a priest of Belen, the god of death.