Thanks for talking. Things feel better, though they don't feel fixed yet.
Remember to take time for yourself, too. Work's important, but so is time to grieve.
"Grief and fear cannot rule you;
let them be your faithful servants, protective of their mistress.
Loss serves a huntress like fuel serves fire." - S. Theris, "Twelve Leaves", verse 132
P.S. Plants are coming along. SAM and I are learning about botany together. Interesting times.