The Lusty Argonian Maid

Crassius Curio

The Elder Scrolls



The Lusty Argonian Maid, v1

The Lusty Argonian Maid
Volume 1

By:
Crassius Curio

Act IV, Scene III, continued

Lifts-Her-Tail
Certainly not, kind sir! I am here but to clean your chambers.

Crantius Colto
Is that all you have come here for, little one? My chambers?

Lifts-Her-Tail
I have no idea what it is you imply, master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.

Crantius Colto
So you are, my dumpling. And a good one at that. Such strong legs and shapely tail.

Lifts-Her-Tail
You embarrass me, sir!

Crantius Colto
Fear not. You are safe here with me.

Lifts-Her-Tail
I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not!

Crantius Colto
Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here, polish my spear.

Lifts-Her-Tail
But it is huge! It could take me all night!

Crantius Colto
Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

END OF ACT IV, SCENE III

The Lusty Argonian Maid, v2

The Lusty Argonian Maid

Volume 2

By:
Crassius Curio

ACT VII, SCENE II, CONTINUED

Lifts-Her-Tail
My goodness, that's quite a loaf! But how ever shall it fit my oven?

Crantius Colto
This loaf isn't ready for baking, my sweet. It has yet to rise.

Lifts-Her-Tail
If only we could hurry that along. How would I accomplish such a task?

Crantius Colto
Oh, my foolish little Argonian maid, you must use your hands.

Lifts-Her-Tail
You wish me to kneed the loaf? Here?

Crantius Colto
Of course.

Lifts-Her-Tail
But what if the mistress catches me? Your loaf was meant to satisfy her appetite.

Crantius Colto
Don't fret, my delicate flower. I'll satisfy the mistress's cravings later.

Lifts-Her-Tail
Very well, but I'm afraid my oven isn't hot enough. It could take hours!

Crantius Colto
Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

END OF ACT VII, SCENE II