Balverines: I've killed fifty of them. With nothing but a rusty cutlass. The Moon: I've been there, in a great balloon. It's amazing and almost never rains. Spells and that: I know them all. Cuisine: Every dish ever prepared, I've eaten it. Inventions: That was me. I invented them. Oh and I wrote this book. Not impressed? You would be if you knew I was illiterate. And paralyzed. And blind.