Dangerous Things: Stargazing In Remote Areas

Horatio Slacks


Remote Locations are ideal for contemplating the night sky, as there is generally little in the way of ambient light. However, these ideal viewing conditions may come at a price. Witness the occasion upon which I went stargazing in a particularly remote and forgotten graveyard. So absorbed was I with the magnificent spectacle of the heavens that when a figure approached, I assumed it was another admirer of the cosmos. I attributed his shambling gait to amazement at the majesty of the stars: his low moans to wonder. I began to pontificate on the constellation Quite Large Spoon Majoris, and when the newcomer did not respond, I lowered my eyes, only to have him attempt to put them out with a rusty pike clenched in his skeletal hand. He was largely unsuccesful in this endeavor, I am happy to report. Still, the episode was a bit unsettling.