All those weary, soul-numbing days working for others. How could I have been so blind? I could have been working for myself all this time.
Taking tolls from fools has to be the easiest job ever! I sit around all day, waiting for the plodding of approaching feet (or the clip-clop of approaching hooves). When I hear them, up I pop and demand they pay a toll for crossing the bridge.
They always grumble, but when I show them my writ from the Emperor (hiring that scribe was the best gold piece I ever spent), most toss some coins my way. The ones who won't, I tell them the money's needed for repairs to the bridge and unless they want to swim next time, they'd better pay.
If they still won't pay, I pull my sword. Sometimes that works, but if they pull theirs, I run.
I hear horses approaching. More fools to be separated from their gold!