It's true, I don't tinker with mechanical devices much anymore, but I'm not so old as to be useless just yet.
Behold! I have fashioned a little contrivance for you, using only parts scavenged from this wretched vessel. Yes, all right, a few bits were currently in use, but I assure you none were involved in keeping us afloat.
Say nothing to Meagan, as her disposition needs no further souring. In any case, may this device serve you well.